Many thanks to The Volokh Conspiracy, which brought this little gem to my attention. It seems there is actually a use for the French and existential philosophy after all:

Efforts to root out the remaining Taliban and Al Qaida forces in Afghanistan heated up yesterday when the Allies revealed plans to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of Muslim zealots by proving the nonexistence of God.

Elements from the feared Jean-Paul Sartre Brigade, or ’Black Berets’ will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and existential anomie among the enemy.

Hardened by numerous intellectual battles fought during their long occupation of Paris’s Left Bank, their first action will be to establish a number of pavement Cafés at strategic points near the front lines.

The whole article, which is very funny, is here.