The iconoclastic Mickey Kaus offers this splendid satire on the potential bathroom antics of Democrats. Sample:

At 1216 hours suspect tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal often used by persons wishing to criticize teachers’ unions. Suspect tapped his toes several times and moved his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly.

At 1217 hours, I saw suspect swipe his hand under the divider for a few seconds, a possible sign of support for charter schools. Suspect repeated this motion again, from the front towards the back, and I could see more of his hand. Suspect then swiped his hand in the same motion for a third time. My experience has shown that this suggests an openness to publicly funded private school vouchers.

. . . Suspect denied all charges and claimed he was really soliciting homosexual sex. He was immediately released.

Heh. Now I’m off to APSA. See you there Peter.