Speaking of shipwrecks, anyone living within a reasonable drive of Mansfield should check out GILLIGAN'S ISLAND THE MUSICAL, which opens this Friday (May 8) at the Mansfield Playhouse. I'll be playing the role of that great American capitalist, Mr. Howell.

One historians version of artistic truth?

But Julies suggestion that you can't make this stuff up seems a challenge.

I am thinking a weapons shipment from China(by way of the old USSR) bound for Syria(by misdirection/bribe way of South Africa) flies over a part of South Africa undergoes engine problems and dumps a crate with a couple of AK-47's on a bunch of Zulu's reproducing a Krawl for a Discovery channel production in exchange for some Coca Cola. Some Zulu's feeling that the oral history they reproduce is denegrated by an audience that mistakes them for the bushmen in the Gods must be crazy, grab up the modern weapons they make off for Somalia to take up piracy. Along the way they run they run into some rogue double agent blackwater guys playing pirate and pirate hunter currently working for the Germans. The Germans indirectly hire the Zulu's to capture an american oil tanker(still hopeing to provoke the americans into clearing up the pirate situation so they can maintain a tight monetary policy.)

The Zulu's take out the oil tanker, and take the environmentalists hostage(lets work the original post into it, but we will make the environmentalists concerned with French nuclear waste).

Meanwhile opperation root out Somali pirates goes into effect and the blackwater guys arrest some Somali fishermen who turned down the job taken by the Zulu's.

As it turns out the one of the Sweedish Environmentalists can speak Zulu and convinces the Zulu to let them film a different type of documentary.

In the end howhever the environmentalists are rescued from the Zulus by a different band of mercanaries hired by the shipping company which decides that the truth of the film would be detrimental to the interest they have in seeing piracy eradicated. The Environmentalist expected this and slid copies to the rogue Zulu who go back and replace the Discovery Channel Zulu film with the sweedish documentary footage implicating the Germans. While exchanging culture with the Discovery Channel folks the rogue pirate Zulus bored with Zulu life watch a commerical for happy cows being from California(and somehow get visas back to the US). Meanwhile German agents are tipped off by the shipping company and persue the discovery channel people who don't yet know what they have, the french also get in on it suspecting the environmentalists found proof of non-proper nuclear waste disposal.

By various twists and turns a road chase shootout between the french and german agents ensues, the discovery folks are killed the van overturned and the film rolls into a pot field in the Emerald Triangle(California). In the ensueing melle only the Zulu's survive. They discover pot, thinking it a vegetable they eat it, this makes them rather sick and disoriented, they stumble into a pasture and finding some of these famous cows help themselves to some blood. A bunch of pandemodium ensues...cattle mutilation and bright lights lead stoned teenagers to suspect aliens and they post some of the fictional story on youtube along with a very small portion the real film footage(sweedish documentary). Some others hide the bodies for fear that the attention will lead to undue attention affecting the pot crop. Everything is really confused...the youtube videos are discounted by all except the National Enquirer with collaborating testimony from ungrateful sweedish environmentalist. The big story involves flying saucers and a new tax on Pot and its legalization. The Zulu's get jobs as extra's working in a traveling theater production of Gilligans Island, where they meet up with Dr. Mosier and give him the original sweedish documentary implicating the germans for setting off the half hearted war on piracy that Team Obama has already finished off.