You can't miss this powerful (and powerfully sad) account
of one man's realization that though his homosexual yearnings were (and, probably, are) innate and, therefore, part of his particular "nature," they are not "natural" in the sense of serving his deeper, higher, and more compelling nature as a man. That is to say, he made a decision--at some point in his life--to nurture feelings, inclinations and preferences and, from that habit of mind and of body, he lived as a homosexual and became one. A realization concerning the nature of true love, however, shakes his very core and stirs long neglected and uncultivated longings in his heart. As he takes note of the love between a father and a son while in a barber shop one day, a painful absence overwhelms him. He realizes that however we artificially alter the inconveniences of the universe, this kind of love will elude him on his current trajectory. Without Utopian expectation of his own fortitude (though perhaps with some overestimation of connection between deserving reward and also getting it) he vows to change. I wish him well--though I am more grateful that he opened up his painful story to public view on the off chance that it might serve as a cautionary tale to those who imagine happiness can be achieved when Nature is ignored. No matter how stubborn your own "nature" . . . Nature is an even less retractable and stubborn mistress.