Only 31 months into his presidency and Barack Obama is now set to unveil
a plan to create jobs in the United States. While some sources say that the plan may include an attempt to curb the rising costs of healthcare (which the President has admitted
his Healthcare law did not do), waste more tax dollars
on stimulus spending (because it's obviously worked so well over the past few years), fix the debt problem (which was impossible for him to do back when his party controlled the entire federal government), or fight space aliens
(oh wait, that's just Paul Krugman being insane), I have a different theory.
President Obama's plan to create jobs in the United States is to use the all-powerful Internet Kill Switch
that Congress is contemplating giving him. Then, without the Internet and all the other wonders of technology, Americans will finally be able to have jobs, because obviously Price Line Negotiator and eBay are stealing jobs
along with those pesky ATMs
. Later phases of his job plan will include getting rid of motors so that horse trainers and carriage makers can get work, abolishing fast food restaurants in order to create more job opportunities for waiters, ordering that all clothing be hand-sewn and all toys be hand-carved, and having the federal government revert to communicating solely through written letters individually hand-delivered by personal secretaries and pages. Only then will we be able to live in a prosperous country. Sounds like a winner to me.