P.J. O’Rourke relates the story of his first meeting John Kerry in this article in The Weekly Standard. Kerry, who was acting as a U.S. election observer in the Philipines, was contacted by reporters including O’Rourke to talk to, and, if possible, provide protection for a group of election tabulators who were terrified after witnessing voting "irregularities." Kerry refused to even talk to them. O’Rourke does not spare Kerry the wrath of his pen:

Now, with benefit of hindsight, I think I can tell you why Kerry didn’t [assist the election tabulators]. He was caught in Kerry-ish calculation--an ambitious young senator on his first important bipartisan delegation with its delicate mission of neutrality. Cory Aquino was very popular. But so was President Reagan. Which way to have it? Why, have it both ways! So Kerry was firmly behind Pash Commit of Flips to Dem [journalist shorthand for the oft-repeated phrase, Passionate Committment of Phillipine people to democracy], up to a point. Just as today Kerry is brave sailor/bold war protester; foe of Saddam/friend of Hans Blix; political underdog/entitled nominee; big government liberal/corporate tax-cutting conservative; rider of Harleys/marrier of Heinz; and, incidentally, still a real jerk.

O’Rourke also has a forthcoming book, which is bound to be fun given its title:

Peace Kills.