My father-in-law just e-mailed me these, so God only knows how long they’ve been flying around the internet, but I thought they were funny:
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington, and they can track her calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering aimlessly around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.
CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it’s worked for over 200 years and we’re not using it anymore.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a
Courthouse:
You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians...
it creates a hostile work environment.
This post rocked my world. I never, ever thought I would see anything so not-conservative on this blog. I’m so proud of your father-in-law. I hope you don’t get stoned for posting such "funniness". No, I’m joking, really. Funny stuff. Who writes that? Why don’t they put their name on it?
MIngus
I am as conservative as they come and I laughed my ass off and then showed it to three more people ( all conservative ) who all laughed. Are your seriously implying that only liberals have a sense of humor? Surely not given that even my most liberal friend agrees with me that Al Fraken is just not funny. Never was according to him. But he is adored on Air America. Go figure.
Maxwell: I don’t think Matt was "seriously implying" that only liberals have a sense of humor. Actually, it looks like Matt said, and I quote: "No, I’m joking, really." Way to not pay attention. Or to try to pick a really lame fight. I don’t know which is worse.
Hye Dan you are wife beating monster, an insufferable suck up and a moron to boot. No I’m joking really. Kinda makes you feel warm all over now dont it,(if you are paying attention and not being your lame self). Oh yeah just kidding again. Really.
Wow. Actually I’m not married.
Is this what the currrent batch of Ashbrook scholars sound like?
I don’t wish to tarnish the image of the Ashbrooks. I do not belong to their ranks.
Nor do I. I am a bartender.
I’m an Ashbrook Scholar . . . I wish I was a bartender.
Hey, those were great - did they come from Jeff Foxworthy? Y’oughta send ’em into Rush!