A new study concludes that Justice Scalia is good for at least one laugh per agument, and is nineteen times as funny as Justice Ginsburg; Justice Thomas doesn’t even register.

This is not via Scalia:
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge.
The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and the charge."
The defendant said, "I’m Sparks, I’m an electrician, charged with
battery."
The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!"