Strengthening Constitutional Self-Government

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New Use for the Little Blue Pill?

My mom reported this to me the other day as I was complaining about the fact that our first live Christmas tree was going limp. I didn’t believe her, so I looked it up and, sure enough, Mother knows best. Unfortunately, our tree is already past the point of no return and, besides, I don’t know any old guys with a prescription. Who knew?!

In any event, I’m going back to the fake tree next year!

Discussions - 8 Comments

Why doesn’t anyone ever know anything about botany? A cut tree forms a callous at the cut end. If you do not get a freshly cut tree in water within a couple hours of cutting it will begin to die off. If you get a cut tree, you cut several inches off of the bottom. How many inches do you have to cut off? It depends on how long it has been since the tree was cut. Some places sell trees that were cut in October, so how much hope is there in keeping that baby alive? Water with sugar dissolved in it will feed the tree, but you can use fresh water. You must remember to water every day. Bleach is supposed to keep the bacterial count down in your water reservoir.

Julie, how is Viagra supposed to work on a tree? I mean, what’s the botanical science involved in that?

Viagra? That doesn’t make a lick o’ sense.

We have a fantastically fake tree. Apart from the protruding cables, it looks totally real!

Julie, "fake tree," say it isn’t so.... I get about a 10 foot tree, which I cut down for an 8 foot ceiling. It’s huge, but it looks great. Ya gotta do it up right.

I’m with Dan, Julie. No dice on the fake trees. I second Kate’s worthwhile tips. My tree’s about 8 feet tall, I had them cut a good 5-7 inches off the stump, used sugar water first, and refresh with fresh water. It’s thriving in its new found home.

Trees belong outside in the ground, as Mother Earth intended.

We followed all of the botanical recommendations offered by Kate and others. If anyone out there knows my husband (an engineer) you know how he obsesses over these kinds of challenges. If anyone ever did this Christmas tree thing by the book, it was us. But perhaps our tree was just cut too soon? All I know is that I don’t care. I will NEVER tolerate this much hassle over a tree again. But for the smell (which gives me allergies anyway) our fake tree was every bit as beautiful and could be left up from the day after thanksgiving until Jan. 6 as it should be. You purists can have your real trees! That sucker’s coming down on Dec. 26 and the like will never darken my doorstep again!

re: Viagra and botany . . . magic. Just like with its intended use, Kate. But maybe you need to have a very attractive female tree to get the full benefit.

Magic? It has to be magic. So you found some? Try a photo of a very attractive female tree, kept in an unobtrusive spot near the tree for encouragement. This is awful. I have become curious and am trying to Google for information with variations on Botany - Viagra and Christmas tree longevity and I can’t believe what I am getting, although nothing very useful in the science area. Did you KNOW there are Viagra-related Christmas ornaments? I did not. I get this
and this.
full of tree-preserving tips and I am also finding suggestions about keeping your pets (and children!) from drinking the water from your Christmas tree stand, which I would think would be especially important in this case. Do you have pets, Julie?

But you cite allergies and that makes the fake tree seem right for you. I love the real trees and am sorely tempted every winter to find and cut new ones every few weeks during the winter to keep the smell and the greenery in the house. Farmed trees, Lorax, farmed trees would never be in the ground at all if people did not propagate them for harvest.

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