Even as thousands of bureaucrats were hired to streamline Cash 4 Clunkers, the Administration pronounced the program dead, as of Monday. The President referred to "victims of success."

But replacing it on Tuesday will be "Cash for Cadavers." Employing cherished Lincolnian imagery from the Gettysburg Address, President Obama declared that anyone who brings in the corpse of a beloved who had reached the biblical limit of "four score" years (within 24 hours of passing) would receive $300,000 applicable only toward the survivor's medical care. As the Administration respects the right of privacy, only minimal questions about the causes of death would be raised.

As acceptable as these pop-ins, would be "walk-in" 4-scorers who chose to terminate all means of life support, including feeding and hydration, in a hospital or other approved facility. The procedure for termination might be compared to that of the aforementioned Clunkers, with perhaps a little more (or less) emotion involved. See the procedure lovingly described of "Killed Clunkers" entering "Auto Heaven." Heaven, no Limbo or Purgatory--there is hope on the hoof! An edifying theology of the car-cass.

As the President puts it, reach "four score" and no more, and score some medical cash, and let this be a new birth of freedom, a transcedence of the realm of freedom and necessity.