Strengthening Constitutional Self-Government

No Left Turns

Bo Knew Football

The Game of the Year, and perhaps the Game of the Decade (Century, Millennium) took on an even deeper meaning with the passing today of former Michigan Coach Glenn Edward Schembechler. In such circumstances one typically adds the obligatory disclaimers, "life is much more important than football," "this puts sports in perspective," etc. Sorry. No platitudes here. Not for Bo Schembechler. He’d tell you bluntly that Michigan-Ohio State was life. Perspective was beating Woody Hayes, Bo’s former mentor, the man who famously pushed his car rather than buy gas in Michigan, who went for a two-point conversion to run up the score against Michigan "because I couldn’t go for three."

I won’t pretend to tell Eskimos about snow or you residents of Ohio about the history and significance of this game. Peter Schramm reminds me that the inter-state rivalry goes back at least as far as the so-called Toledo War in the 1830s. This border dispute involved in various ways questions of statehood, slavery and presidential politics. My theory is that the Ohioans actually wanted to expand the territory in which Woody could safely buy gas when the Big Game was in Ann Arbor. (To give equal time, Congressman John Quincy Adams thought Michigan had a slam-dunk case.) In refreshing my memory on the conflict from various sources I ran across the following: "Both militias were mobilized and sent to positions on opposite sides of the Maumee River near Toledo, but there was little interaction between the two sides besides mutual taunting." 19th Century trash talking! Don’t let NBA Commissioner David Stern hear of this.

My college coaching friend in Idaho and I usually make a milkshake wager on major sporting events. Good news for you Michigan fans – I’m picking Ohio State. I say good news because I am the Captain Peter "Wrong Way" Peachfuzz of sports prognosticators (Rocky and Bullwinkle cultural reference). My coaching friend would weigh 500 pounds if he actually drank all the milkshake bets he’s won over the years. Yes, I took Detroit and he took St. Louis in the World Series.

My justification – I have a gut feeling that this is Ohio State’s year, when all the stars and players are properly aligned, just as it was Texas’ year of destiny last season. The Buckeyes have enough weapons on offense to overcome Michigan’s superb run defense. OSU’s defense is very opportunistic and games like this are usually won by forcing turnovers. Perhaps the key player is Michigan wide receiver Mario Manningham. If healthy and effective, he changes the game.

This is definitely a couch potato Saturday. Enjoy!

Discussions - 2 Comments

I am going near the epicenter of the Buckeyepocalypse tommorrow. Can’t wait.

Every self-respecting Buckeye fan has probably already seen these, but I pass them on for those of you (like me) who are fascinated with the rivalry but have never really understood how deep it is:


A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Michigan joke?" The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am 6’ tall, 200 lbs. and I am a Michigan Graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2", 225 lbs. and he is a Michigan Graduate. The guy right next to him is 6’5", 250 lbs. and he is also a Michigan Graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?" The first guy says, "No, not if I’m going to have to explain it three times".

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It was reported that the Michigan Football Coach Lloyd Carr will only be dressing 20 players for the Ohio State game this November...the rest of the players will have to dress themselves!


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What’s the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor? Columbus: 187 Miles

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What does the average University of Michigan student get on his S.A.T.? Answer: Drool.


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How do you get a Michigan Graduate off your front porch? Pay him for the
pizza.


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Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: A OSU grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal fan of their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way to the top when the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountainside shouting,
"This is for the fighting Irish!" Not wanting to be outdone, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this, the OSU grad walked over and shouted, "This is for the Buckeyes!" and pushed the Michigan grad off the mountain.


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A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store." "But, I’m a Michigan graduate," the young man replied indignantly, "I even played football there!" "Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom, I better show you how."

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A Wolverine football player was almost killed today in a tragic horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse just in time.


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A little boy and his mother were walking
through a Michigan cemetery when they cameupon a headstone that read: "Here lies a Michigan graduate and a good man." The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?"

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Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach talking about their rivalry. As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand. Upon closer inspection it turns out to be a genie’s lamp. "Who disturbs me?" asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did it. "You will each get one wish," said the genie. Lloyd offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable wall built around the entire state of Michigan so that none of those stupid Ohioans can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as it is high,
and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally have our peace!"
The genie grants the wish to Lloyd and he is instantly whisked away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Jim he’ll grant him one wish. Jim says, "Fill it up with water."


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Why is ice no longer available at Michigan football games? Because the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated.


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What are the three longest years of a Michigan football player’s life? Answer: His freshman year.

Go Bucks!!

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